Forgiveness - Part 2
Clothing Ourselves in Christ
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Eph 4:32)
“… as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. (Col 3:12-13 ESV)
In my last blog post, titled Forgiveness Part 1, I talked about the biblical mandate to forgive and its potential to mend our relationship with God, ourselves, and others.
Here I want to delve further into the why, the how, and the radical nature of forgiveness by looking at the context of the above verses.
Why we forgive: We have a new identity in Christ.
Before Paul instructs us to forgive each other in the above verses, he lays a foundation for the work that has been completed by the Father through the Son to bring us into union with him.
Humankind was always intended to enjoy relationship with God—Father, Son, and Spirit—and the Father sent the Son to restore our access to the Father. “In Christ” we have redemption and forgiveness of sin, and we are given a new nature. We have boldness and access to the Father in Christ.
If you are not convinced of Paul’s emphasis on our relationship to the Father “in Christ,” go through Ephesians, circling every instance of “in Christ,” “in him,” or “in whom.” It is an astounding picture of our relationship with the Father through the Son. Add to that the gift of the Spirit in us, and we see a beautiful image of the entwining of our lives with God.
We know we have been adopted into the family of God and made heirs of the kingdom. We are grafted into the vine and draw our life source from him.
Altogether we have convincing evidence that our new identity is in Christ, which is the most secure relationship in which any of us could find ourselves. And at last, the relationship with God we were created to enjoy has been restored in Christ.
So why forgive? Because we are identified with the one who forgave us. Our very identity is Christ, and it is in Him that we have access to the Father. When we approach the Father, we do so by wearing the identity of the Son, who took on our sin, paid the penalty of death, and rose again to new life.
It’s like asking why my family decorates gingerbread houses at Christmas or why we all know my husband’s favorite U2 lyrics. It’s who we are. It’s part of our identity. And that’s the same for living “in Christ.” Characteristics like forgiving are not requirements to get in; they are evidence that we are “in.”
How we forgive: It’s in our nature to do so.
Before this new relationship in Christ, Paul says we used to walk according to the old nature, with all its lusts and trespasses.
Now that we have been made alive in Christ, we are his workmanship. He is literally working out through us this new nature that we already have. The materials are there, the new nature is there, but he works to bring it out into new expressions of our bodily life and social relationships.
Out of our identity in Christ and the new nature that is producing new Christ-like expressions, or fruit, we live in increasing measure the life of Christ.
So how do we forgive? We draw our life source of our “in Christ” relationship. We abide and draw nutrients through the vine into our branches. The fruit produced looks increasingly like him.
So right before Paul says to forgive in Ephesians 4, he says, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” None of these are in Christ’s nature and, therefore, are no longer in ours. Nor should they be in the expression of our life in him.
It is not that we stop doing them because we want to gain Christ; we stop doing them because we are in Christ.
Like so many things, how we forgive is in humility. We accept the requirement of forgiveness while we accept our inability to accomplish it on our own. We are dependent on Him to enable us to do what he requires. Our part is to choose.
Quite possibly, bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander may be indications that we need to forgive. These are often ways we rehearse offenses and wounds and (unfortunately, for churchgoers) are often viewed as lesser sins than others. Yet they indicate a bitter root.
In other words, when I have a temptation to shoot off my mouth about or to someone, or to slander someone, I am confronted with my need to forgive an offense. Whether I want to be clean before the Lord or relieved of the pain I feel will determine whether I go to the Lord to forgive an offense or whether I go to another to nurse the anger or hurt from the offense.
This is how we make so many things happen in our new life in Christ; we surrender while he accomplishes what he requires.
The Radical Nature of Forgiveness: Love That Defends Unity
Forgiving “as” Christ forgives may be one of the most radical expressions of love we can live out. The word “radical” itself comes from the Latin radix, meaning “root.” To embrace radical forgiveness is to be rooted in love—drawing our life and strength from Christ.
In a world obsessed with personal rights, demands for justice, and long lists of offenses, forgiveness stands as a powerful act of resistance. Through radical identification with Christ, we are called to extend forgiveness, even when it defies the logic of the world around us.
Some of us carry deep wounds, the kind that will require time, community, and strength to navigate. Others of us harbor smaller grievances—petty slights that could be easily forgiven but often aren’t. These everyday offenses present an opportunity to practice the radical nature of forgiveness, starting with one and developing the habit.
When Paul urges us to forgive, he doesn’t do so in a vacuum. He places forgiveness on the foundation of our identity in Christ. Trying to forgive on any other basis leaves us subject to the old nature, working hard to pay debt only God’s resources can cover. It would be like trying to pay a mortgage by running a lemonade stand.
In Christ, we have access to the limitless resources of his love, which empowers us to forgive. We are not forgiving from our own reserves; we are conduits of the forgiveness we have already received.
In Conclusion: Forgiveness is New Clothing
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other.”
Forgiveness is more than duty; it is the attire of those identified with Christ. It’s among the characteristics of those who’ve shed the old and live in the new, allowing goodness to flow in and through us.
As God’s chosen, holy, and beloved children, we are called to reflect the unity our Father desires. Just as parents long to see their children live in harmony, our heavenly Father longs for us to live in unity, free from the weight of unforgiveness.
We were never to serve as judge and arbiter of right and wrong. These are weighty responsibilities assigned to God. When we forgive, then, we assign to God what is his and take on the identity in Christ that is ours, and the path to the Father is unencumbered by the baggage of offense.
Practicing radical forgiveness helps us recognize the subtle ways offense keeps us from enjoying the union we have in Christ. We are free from bodily sensations and internal thoughts that hold us in tension with another. We are less attuned to a sour taste in our mouths, tightening in our chest, or temptation to criticize another. We experience the lightness of all of this, like the releasing of the tug-of-war rope. We are free again to enjoy the union we have in Christ and the access we have to the Father.
In this way, forgiveness is less a requirement and more an acknowledgement of our receipt of it. It is less a burden to entrust to God judgment and more a delight to entrust to God the final say over matters that concern us. It is less an act of faith and more an act of resistance to the bondage of bitterness.
If we can see forgiveness as stepping aside so one who causes us pain can answer to God, we can stand on the side of God who is the source of the forgiveness we extend to another.
I want to be found on the God-side of forgiving when all debts become due. Don’t you?